Today's Episode:
When Feis Technology Goes Bad
[04/01/08] In years past, I have detailed two examples of high-technology research applied more or less successfully to solving current problems suffered by Irish Dancers, their families, and their schools.
This diatribe is not about them.
For every research and development (R&D, if I slip up later) project that succeeds, whether in Irish Dance or other endeavors in life, there are many others that are somewhat less than successful. After much prompting , I have come up with two of the most spectacular failures in recent Irish Dance R&D history. These two have the benefit of video documentation actually available elsewhere online, which should open up in a separate browser window or tab when you click on the links. Sit back, grab your favorite beverage, and contemplate what might have been.
| Feis Fare |
A perennial problem at many feisanna has centered on Feis Fare. Faced with long lines that descend on food vendors during lunch break at the middle of the feis day, many committees have erroneously come to the conclusion that the delays are caused not by scheduling, but by food preparation time. IDTANA recently commissioned a study, attempted by Purdue University and documented at the link to the left, to use cryogenic oxidizers in order to speed up cooking on barbecure grills. The good news was that the cooking time was shortened to mere seconds for standard items of feis fare. The bad news was twofold:
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| Next-Generation Feismobile |
This piece of research was commissioned by IDTANA-Midwest to deal with a problem I first outlined several years ago, after eligibility requirements for the Midwest Oireachtas were changed. Even though the Mid-Atlantic region's feisanna were declared to be acceptable to meet the new requirements, the vast majority of the Mid-Atlantic was simply beyond any reasonable drive time from the vast majority of the Midwest. Nothing could be done about the distances involved, so something had to be done about the speed of the typical Irish Dance family's feismobile. The good news was that this feismobile concept car did zero to 130 in under six seconds. Test track limitations prevented researchers from determining its optimal cross-country cruise speed. The bad news was that it did this while sacrificing its abilities to carry passengers, dress bags, or even be certified street-legal. Don't even ask about trying to get it stopped once you reach the city containing your target feis. |
So the next time you see a problem at a feis you're attending, chances are top Irish Dance scientists have already taken a good, long, look at solving it.
And failed. 